Dissonance

I thought success was harmless. All of my dreams of a family, a life of service to my community and my God were supposed to help others and bring satisfaction to my life. I am realizing it is not that simple. Success is an act of violence. With each ascent of my professional career, I delve further into foreign spaces...hostile spaces. Each promotion comes with an insidious command, ingest more of white culture. Lose your slang, shave your face, trade dap for a firm handshake. Actions, thoughts, and ways of meaning which I hold so dear are forced beneath the surface, all so I can appear more "professional." If I climb the social ladder, I do so at the expense of my own soul. Success is violent.

Even if I continue to manage the tension of my deep love for black culture against the tide of white supremacy, I am still living in a society which does not value my contribution to it as an equal cultural participant. My hyphenated identity, which was given not chosen, is evident of my sub-par standing. "I too am America." For all of the black billionaires, and millionaires, there are millions more black peope living and believing in poverty. I cannot succeed as long as this is true. To succeed in this system is to validate it's existence, and to fail in this system achieves the same goal.What options remain?